If you’ve ever been through an affair in your relationship, it can have devastating effects. An affair can lead to divorce, loss of relationships (not only the ex-partner, but also loss of relationships with their parents, siblings, nieces and nephews, etc.), anxiety, stress, financial stress, and the list can go on. That does not mean you cannot heal or recover from an affair in your relationship, you must certainly can! And it doesn’t mean, the relationship has to end, if both people are willing to work on the relationship. However the affair is not necessarily the actual problem, problems started months, or years before the affair happened. Possibly even before you first met! Some people might even say when you were being formed in the womb and others would say as soon as you are born. You are influenced by everything in your life from day one! It may sound strange, but you are going to be attracted to someone who models the behaviors you saw growing up, so yes, you did marry your mom, or yes, you did marry your dad in a sense. And there are some biological instinctual parts working on your responses too! Is it possible to overcome biology and history? Absolutely! And affair recovery is possible, just as anything is possible. However, it does take two people in a relationship, and a lot of work (and I do mean a lot!). People can heal from affair wounds, but each partner needs to work on themselves and the relationship. Again, I want to point out that it does take a lot of work from both people who listen (not just talk) to each other, and even have a little bit of humility. Well, okay, a LOT of humility. If you are hurting or grieving from an affair in your relationship, there are ways to heal. Ways we can discuss if you decide to come in.
Kristen Swart, MSW, LSW is an individual, marital, family, and group counselor at Peace Counseling Group. We serve the communities of Carmel, Zionsville, Westfield, Indianapolis, Fishers, and Brownsburg Indiana.
Address: 9640 Commerce Drive
Suite 413 Carmel, IN 46032
Phone: 317.605.7015
Email:
nancy@peacecounselinggroup.com
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